Looking for a word... (+18)

Hedone

How do you put in a single word the sensation you get when your stomach is stacked up to the brim with raw tofu, yet your taste buds scream in starvation making you to drool at the mere memory of sweet chocolate or tasty meat? I have been thinking on that a good deal of the day and, you know me: I don't think too much in anything unless I'm bored beyond the sanity parameters of a sapient nethian.

With my home getting better but still in delicate state, I have been finally able to take my golden showers with a similar regularity as in the past, thought to a rather bitter and tasteless cost. Some years ago, I slowly decreased the size of my zarkarite crystal orchards as the planet said it produced too much acid. I was never too much a fan of it, but, I kinda miss watching the rainbows now that I cannot even have any trace of it, even at home. I can't have sparring partners because the entire planet is busy fixing my home and a nearby place. And, finally, I cannot hunt anything with my planet stuck in stationary position with the one of Apathos in orbit. So, what am I supposed to do? Sitt still and be pretty?! I was born to be an explorer of the deepest regions of experience, not a pot flower!!

Sometimes, on the mornings, I can see a particularly big and shiny one. It looks a bit plain, but even at this distance I can see it's gentle slopes and forests, possibly giving home to god-knows-what. But, no, not close enough, and as long as Apathos' world is there in the sky, it is the only sight I'm going to see. Now, don't take me wrong: Apathos homeworld is a pretty place, very gentle and warm... but very plain. I must admit it was the heck worst the first time I went there (it was awfull, to be honest), but I have helped Apathos to make it a bit prettier and more welcoming. Nevertheless, there is still a loooong way to go and I am very afraid there is only a very limited amount of stuff that can be done, actually.

I would like to say that I miss visiting other planets, like in the past, but even then such was a rare event as the particular magnetic pull of my planet mainly rejects most other planets and only a very few have a similar gravitational wavelenght, so I am kinda "missing what I never had". Like I said earlier, I'm still trying to find a word to encase this big feeling... Any ideas?

PD: I could use Ahamkara's help. She is good with unusual words.

- Hedone Yantra.